depression is who i am now, no matter how hard i try i cant beat it. i have been suicidal for months noww and it is just getting worse. i feel like my insidess are being shredded to bits and i just want it all to go away. i want to be able to smile and not feel like im putting on a show. i want to feel happiness, real happiness. just for once, i dont want to feel like i want to cry, and know that someone cares
that moment you realize your “best friend” is actually a two faced bitch who talks shit about everyone, is constantly negative, and lies to your face about EVERYTHING. honestly, i feel and have felt for a long time like i dont have a best friend anymore, so you can go fuck yourself bitch
Clearly Dope Tumblr of the moment: Batman Running Away From Shit
Truffle shuffle+batman=best day EVER
Any guy from 16-20 who wants to get drunk/high/and have sex, holla at me cuz I’m down for anything at this point.
Sorry I can’t help you with your problems, but you don’t even bother to ask what shit I have gone through. Stuff you can’t even imagine, and you just dumping all of your drama on me is making me spiral back into that dark place I don’t ever wanna be again. I am sorry, but I can’t be your therapist no matter how much I love and care about you, you need to grow up and be a man.
I hate my fucking piece of shit father he is a sadistic bastard, he makes my life and everyone elses life a living hell. I can’t wait to move far far away
Today I talked with my father for 3 hours about my secure depression. I told him everything that has been effecting me and he gave me advice on how to get through this. He also talked to the doctor and there is a chance I have hypothyroidism, which is a hereditary thing in my family. It would explain my constant fatigue, bad immune system, struggle to lose weight, and why I am so depressed all the time. I am also going to be phsycoanalyzed by a therapist/psychiatrist to see how severely depressed I am and if I need medication. I hope this will be a turning point for me because I can’t take living anymore.
What does it mean if I want to get drunk and get raped by a cute guy. It means that I believe that is the only way I know a boy really likes me or would want to be with me was if he raped me when I couldn’t fight back.
Today I found out that one of my friends goes to school with the boy who sexually abused me in elementary school. He asked me how I knew the guy and I said in a weird voice “school, a long time ago.” my friend didn’t believe me and kept saying that i didn’t sound convincing and he wanted to know how I knew the guy. I started having a panic attack at the thought of him and I just stayed silent. My other friend who knew everything just changed the subject and tried to breathe. How is it possible that this boy is still ruining my life? It’s not fair that I can never move on and he is the most popular boy at school. How am I ever going to be able to trust a man to be with me if I can’t even say his name without flipping out. How can a man ever love me if the thought of him touching me petrifies me too a point of shutting down and crying. How can I live my life?
